Diary No. 3

Everyone…

Today everyone came out of the woodworks- lemon, Dallas, and the boy.

First was the boy- I feel most guilty about him… he texted me saying “hey” than never responded when I replied saying what’s up. I feel most guilty about him because he cared a lot more for me than I did for him. I was dealing with a breakup and he was my rebound. After my relationship with devil boy (or he who shall not be named) I was craving a relationship- craving attention and time and commitment. He provided that and it felt good to have it. He wasn’t the right match for me I just fed off the relationship he provided. Once it got too serious and the holidays were over I let him go. Which hurt him a lot more than I thought it would… he stood in my room for over an hour on the verge of tears than ran away to his best friend in Tennessee. I feel awful that I led him on… I regret not recognizing what I was doing to him sooner…

Second was Dallas- I’m going to go into detail in my Dallas series but he and I no longer speak we aren’t a match anymore. We fought and ended our relationship- a few days after the fight I reached out… drunk of course, and said I wanted to end things on a positive note not fighting and negative. He declined and didn’t care for any interaction. Than today he texted me out of no where saying he was ready to talk now? I didn’t respond.

Finally was lemon- he emailed me. Said how much he missed me blah blah blah. I sent him a email two weeks ago or so just in response to one he sent to me and he disappeared which I was not upset about… At all. But I responded to his creepy I miss you saying he disappeared and I wish to no longer receive emails from him. I want all men cleared from my life.

I wish devil boy came out of the woodworks today- no one I cared enough about reached out to me. But the one I cared too much about didn’t…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s